A couple jokes

Plagued by insomnia, I’m seeking ways to entertain myself until I either grow sleepy or the morning sun washes away all hope of sleep altogether.  The Kansas City joke below is a bit of a stab in the gut, as a Royals fan, though I can hardly deny how true this was for so many years.


One morning in elementary school, the students were going to a geography class. The teacher wanted to show the students where cities and states are.

The teacher asks the class, “Does anyone know where Pittsburgh is?” Billy raises up his hand and says, “Yeah, Pennsylvania!”. The teacher replies, “Very good, Billy!, now can anyone tell me were Detroit is?”

Suzy raises her hand and says, “That’s in Michigan!” The teacher again says, “Very good.”

Trying to confuse the children, she now asks, “Where’s Kansas City?” Tommy raises his hand and says, “Oh Oh Pick me!!!, I know?” The teacher says, “OK, Tommy where is Kansas City?”

“Last place.”


The phone would ring in the middle of the night and you knew it was either Mr. Steinbrenner or a death in the family. After a while you started to root for a death in the family.

– Harvey Greene, the former Yankees PR director

Infographic: MLB Perfect games

Here’s a chart that depicts perfect games throughout baseball history, beginning in 1874.  The fact that there have only been 23 perfect games thrown in the hundreds-of-thousands of games that have been played in Major League Baseball goes to show just how difficult a feat it really is.  Three perfect games in 2012 is an especially astonishing number, with this in mind.


Baseball Bugs

I have a vague memory of watching this short toon as a kid.  The part I remember best is the bit about Bugs playing catcher to his own pitching.  I found myself wishing that I was fast enough to do that, especially considering how hard Bugs seems to be hurling those fastballs.

Oracle of Baseball

Here’s a fun little tool available from Baseball-Reference.com.  The Oracle of Baseball is very much like the idea of Six Degrees of Separation (or Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, if you will), except it focuses on baseball players!  You can type in the names of two baseball players, and the site will spit back a chain of teammates that connect them to one another.  For example, one pair of players I tried out was Dizzy Dean and Sammy Sosa, and result came back as follows:

Dizzy Dean played with Phil Cavarretta for the 1938 Chicago Cubs
Phil Cavarretta played with Minnie Minoso for the 1954 Chicago White Sox
Minnie Minoso played with Richard Dotson for the 1980 Chicago White Sox
Richard Dotson played with Sammy Sosa for the 1989 Chicago White Sox

I’ve tried several pairs, and so far, the longest chain I’ve found was a mere two links longer than the one above (Fred Merkle and Alex Gordon).  It’s really quite stunning how interconnected the baseball world really is.

Here’s the link, if you wanna try it out yourself: http://www.baseball-reference.com/oracle/.  Have fun!

“Offseason Blues,” by Steve Pellikaan

I think this poem, published in 2003, speaks for itself.  Just 59 days until pitchers and catchers report!


It’s cold outside. The wind is harsh.
There’s snow upon the ground.
You put on your coat, your gloves, your hat,
And go toss the football around.

It’s just not the same, though. The session is brief.
In no time, you’ve gone back inside.
You turn on the TV, or get on the net,
In search of any news they can provide.

You look at the calendar and shake your head.
The time is surely not short.
You count up the months, the days, the hours,
Until pitchers and catchers report.

You dream of Spring with the grass so green,
And the temperature on the rise,
When the fortunate few get together again,
To seek that ultimate prize.

The holidays come and go. Your family takes pride,
In the dinners over which they strove.
While the turkey is cooking, a smile hits your face.
You’re reminded of another “hot stove”.

The talk of free agents and trades being made
Gives you hope for the upcoming year.
You dream of the slugger, the pitcher, the coach
That this year you’ll get to cheer.

So, during this winter, when you’re thinking of baseball,
And it makes you want to groan.
Cheer up. Fans like us can take solace
In knowing we aren’t alone.