Legal replies to stupid letters

I came across this gem on Instagram regarding Cleveland Stadium, former home of the Cleveland Indians and the Cleveland Browns, and it is just too good not to pass on. I definitely need to keep this response in the back of my mind for future inspiration.

The caption: “In 1974, the legal department of the Cleveland Browns sent this letter in response to a complaint from attorney Dale Cox (a season ticket holder), who had objected to fans throwing paper airplanes during games.

In his letter, Cox warned the team, ‘I will hold the club responsible for any injury sustained by any person in my party attending one of your sporting events.'”

This day in baseball: Selig suspends Strawberry

Following a third infraction for cocaine use, on February 28, 2000, Commissioner Bud Selig suspended Yankees outfielder Darryl Strawberry for one year. In a statement, Selig said, “In the end, I could not ignore Darryl’s past infractions and concluded that each of us must be held accountable for his or her actions. I am hopeful that he will use this time away from the game productively and will care for himself and his family.” Selig did not make any provision for the slugger to return early for good behavior.

Bud Selig, 2010 (Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license)